There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize