Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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