So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this boner is exhausting
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize