Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
