I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
