I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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