Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
