we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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