forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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