I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
