I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
