whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
