It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
