wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize