I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
