at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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