The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
