Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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