I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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