he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
