I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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