he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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