Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
