that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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