I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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