Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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