I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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