btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
