My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
