Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
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Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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