I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
