Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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