I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
