So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
