I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
zippers are such a cool invention
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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