Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
