Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
