I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
