that's an acceptable place to lick
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He has the fingertips of a God
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
