How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We got so high we made milksteak
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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