Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
