remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize