Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
