Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
