They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
