just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
