she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
