if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
