you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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