This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
