Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
