come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if only i could text you this smell
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
