Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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