During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
