Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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