Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
