Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
