Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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