sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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