It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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