Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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